I've been wavering the past few days. I stand in this imaginery confession box and admit that I'm still weary and apprehensive about some things. I'm mad,and hurt and disappointed. I still am. There are things I hope I'll get to say someday, when I get the chance to. During praise and worship I couldn't lift my feet off the ground, my hands and heart heavy.
I shut my eyes. nope, still nothing.
'worthy is the lamb, sitted on the throne. crown you now with many crowns, you reign victorious.'
worthy.
Is Jesus worthy of my praise even when things go wrong?
'Yes..but I'm half-hearted, I'm boiled down by so many problems. It's so hard.'
'thou art worthy'
Excuses aside, my feelings does not change the fact that Jesus,who's the lamb that was slain, is less worthy of my praise just because I'm down and out. Even during the song, I was reminded of Job. I guess it was not easy for him to raise his hands and worship the Lord. Maybe his hands were heavier. I don't think he understood what was happening to him either. But what he had was discipline. Discipline to know who His God is and to submit his emotions to Him. Discipline to know that whatever comes His way, Jesus is still worthy to be praised. My God's faithfulness never fails and my obligation is to be faithful in my walk with Him. Now that we've got that sorted, Chin up and move forward.


p/s: I don't feel like dancing by scissor sisters is such a catchy song and the guy's high pitch voice is pretty hilarious but it suits the mood and song.

p/p/s: I miss Marisa.and Jon. and Est. and Diana.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.