shh by Frou Frou

I WANT A DIANA+!
So gorgggggggggggggggggggggg. -swoons.

It's 12.45 a.m and I've been spending the past half hour researching on Krispy Kreme. It's pretty amazing how when you google these 2 words, dozens of forums are raving about them and asking if there's an outlet in their city so they can have a taste of it. So like all the other insane people out there that was exactly what I did. After the Natas fair my parents decided that Korea was a much better choice so yup, that's where we're headed. I'm not sure when we'll be going up to HongKong..hopefully in the near future so I can do a little shopping at H&M or smth. I can't say I'm not looking forward to Korea..just that eh, I thought the HK trip was more or less settled and we were gonna visit our uncle anyway. I enjoy researching on places I'm able to travel to, to know the dos and don'ts and recommendations. It just might come in handy when you need it. :) And of course, making the best out of our guided trip. But I guess going free and easy with two 50-odd yr old adults who can't speak korean isn't the easiest thing, not forgetting that they're bringing along their daughter who's clueless about bibimbap and kimchi. Surprises of all surprises, the disappointment of not being able to go to H&M matches up to my disappointment of not having Krispy Kreme until I went to their official website and realised that they have ard 20 outlets in South Korea. :D
Bad news? They're all in Korean so I have no idea where the ideas are. So google, as usual being my trusty buddy, searched out forums in English and! I have a rough idea where I can find them. Unless Sinchon subway station line number 2, go out the McDonald's exit and walk towards Yonsei University isn't specific enough.
I'm rambling again, and I'm sorry this time it's donuts..the time of the night again. Comfort food.(that expands your waist line)

Looking forward to my much wanted getaway :)
Don't we all?

It Ends Tonight
The All-American Rejects

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You're finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

[Chorus]
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Tonight,
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

I read PS I love You and Where Rainbows End and I loved both of them..but I think this takes the cake. The first 3 chapters bored me so I thought I would just read a little before heading to bed yesterday night but ended up finishing the rest of the 40 chapters in 6 hours. The book's really gripping after the plot develops. It's whimsical but yet it challenges your perspective about imaginery friends. I don't like reading books with predictable plots and this's certainly unexpected. But I thought they were some loose ends that could be tied up in her story. This's like the best fictional book I've read so far, seriously. And it has a sad ending so I cried quite abit while reading it as well.

Ok, back to my tangyuan.

I've worked for about 10 months now.
There's a caucasian who sits outside our outlet often. Normally he sits down and eats. Sometimes it's a small portion of homecooked porridge, other times he drinks a huge bottle of flavoured milk and I think that will be the only meal he has the whole day. His appearance is always disheveled. I guess the most important thing about him I should mention is that every time he packs up and leaves, he lugs a huge backpack that's too heavy for him. Either that, or he's really frail cause his skinny legs gives slight hints of wobbling with each step that he takes.

There's this lady who has dropped by our shop a couple of times. She hasn't tried Ben and Jerry's, not that I know of anyway. She asked me today if I would exchange her coins with some notes as she always does. I've seen her. She sells donation tickets near the train station.

Her colleague holds a clutch when he walks. He is a cripple. And when he walks, each step is strenuous and garners many stares. Every once in awhile, he wobbles back to our table to have a breather before approaching passer-bys with his tickets again. It's hard for him to sell them cause he can't walk much and most of the time he stands stationary at a spot and leans on his clutch. I also know he has a hard time selling them cause he has a supervisor who scolded and cursed at him.

Many people will look at them and give them a second glance of pity, but that's about it. When I saw the 2 donation ticket sellers today, watching the guy in clutches getting weird stares and blunt rejections did something in me enough to want to write this. I'm empathetic towards people who are going through emotional turmoils. But people with physical disabilities have my compassion. A compassion that wishes to be able to better their lives. It was such helplessness when I looked on, knowing I could give them something to eat today, but I couldn't better their lives permanently. This makes me think of Heidi Baker. I think she would have taken them to her home or shelter without any questions asked. She's not rich, but she has a lot of faith. Faith that helped her build her homes, take in homeless kids unconditionally, and believing that God will provide for each of them. As I stared at the guy, it made me realised I have nothing I could give to them materially speaking. At the point I wished that I have some homes or welfare centres to speak of, to care for these people who have been outcasted by the mainstream society. It's not pity. It goes beyond compassion. I think it's love. I want to be able to give them something to eat everyday so that they won't have to worry about not hitting the sales target for the day or being cursed at. More than that, I think many of them are unreached. We preach at normal kids with abnormal problems but we don't reach out to abnormal kids with normal problems. Imagine this. A home whereby all these people live and won't have to worry about basic needs, and living their lives for Jesus, knowing exactly His plan and purpose for them. They no longer feel rejected, but they know that they're born for such a time as this and they use what they have for God. When they know they are leading a life that is fulfilling and dreaming for Him, I really think it's beautiful.

I don't even know where to begin.
I guess the first blow was the awful results I received for the first semester.
And the nagging feeling at the back of my mind thinking about my money.
Then the work politics struck.
and the friends you thought would probably appreciated you more than they actually showed.
to sum it all up, it's been a really bad day.
At this point of time, all the God talk starts coming in, something I always do to good friends in my position.
It's weird that all that drilling doesn't seem to help much, cause it's something i've heard about a while back.
Only the still small voice helps.
Even then, my mind screams out millions of questions and doubts about myself.
I thought I was pretty unfazed by such things anymore. But guess those emotions got the better of me?
What do I want really?
A good conversation will be nice.
some loving i guess.
shallow as it might sound, good grades as a reflection of my 'talent'.
I used to think I make a decent writer, but i'm not so sure now.
Insecurities.
When do I get over them?

misery business- Paramore


1) thanks to Nam, I've started listening to my rusting collection of Paramore songs again. But Hayley's not THAT cute la. stop raving about her already. Can't beat a particular guitarist from The academy is.

2) Vericose veins freak me out. even mine.

3) I'm going to start September (I know I'm a little late but hey, the week always starts on a Monday) by saving all I can on food and really try to curb my indulges in clothes. (e.g come up with a specific but concise shopping list and STICK BY IT) I'm serious kay.stop laughing.

4) I can't believe school starts tomorrow. It's too soon. No no noooooooooo.

5) 5 more days to pay day. yay.

6) I'm hungry.

7) this post's beginning to look crappy.

8) ok, it is.

9) before I say goodnight though,

10) Haji Lane is really nice. I like how the whole decor in each of the shop works and some of the clothes they bring in. Of course, some of them are just way over priced and I think if I looked harder I can find them somewhere else.

11) oh. And it ticks me off that everyone's into photography now and using fish eye lenses to take photos of stuff you aren't supposed to be taking with fish eye which eventually distorts it. AND CALLING THEM ARTISTIC. eww. go read up. (Disclaimer: I'm not a photographer, and not an expert on it either but I do have a slight knowledge of it, through my module in school and also from friends. I have a wide appreciation for beautifully taken photos and I'm very much interested in learning to take them myself and I do think it's a skill that I wanna acquire. In other words, I lump photography into one of my interests. But I don't do it just because it's cool to hold a holga or DSLR around City Hall or because it's the latest shit.)

12) And a gentle reminder. It's ' it's really painful' and NOT 'it's really pain'. It's such a common mistake that I feel weird to be saying it the right way.

13) Ok before I start digging out my 20 yrs' worth of pet peeves, I better go. Aye but I just have to get some things off my chest. To #11, lesson learnt: Have a backbone and go ahead feeling comfortable being yourself. I'll elaborate on this another time :)

Have a great week ahead you guys.