I hate the fact the blogger only allows a person to lock the entire blog, unlike LJ where you can select which entries you wanna make private.Cause sometimes you want everyone to read what you have to say, but other times you are seeking for some sort of release and perhaps blogging might be it. But you aren't comfortable with sharing it with everyone.Be it friends,strangers or stalkers. I hope you know where I'm coming from, 'cause that's how I feel right now.


If I could change anything about myself,patience would be it.
It's hard to convince myself that it's alright not to be popular, to have people tagging my tagboard and to have friends commenting on your friendster. Just being honest here.
Sometimes I think that God must think I'm an ungrateful thing after repeating the same mistakes over and over. Until one day He decides to throw a surprise agenda setting meeting,sets the record straight and tells you how He really feels about you.
Perhaps,just perhaps I'm not as confident as I may appear to be.
I do try to make people love me but I don't try to seek unwanted attention really.
For awhile I was on a yacht,taking a breather and everything was going smoothly until the thunderstorm came. And I realise,I'm not as fine as I think I am.
Sometimes you don't get over things and move on,you just try and get used to them.
'papa,do you love me?' I asked the Lord recently,even though I know I shouldn't.
He said,"I loved you when I had you in my mind." way before 1987.
I hate it when I disappoint my parents,even though they have ridiculous expectations of me.
I think about how I think others think of me pretty often.
I do think I get misunderstood by some people. Some think I can't shut up, some think I'm negative and I don't know what else. But I have my quiet moments and I look at a glass and describe it as 'half-filled' instead of it being half empty.So I don't see how I'm a pessimist.
When i sigh,whine or complain,I'm gonna get over it,I'm gonna get things down.But I just need to get it out of my chest.
And if you provoke me enough,I can be pretty darn determine to achieve what I want.
Lastly,I've disappointed a lot of people,I'm disappointed myself.I've made a lot of mistakes. I do think that I don't deserve a lot of things. I dislike myself sometimes. I hate doing things then having the feeling that I've upset someone and then end up feeling like the scum of the earth. Sometimes I hate the things I say to people. Not stuff like 'I hate you' or anything,but it's more like 'damn,you could have been less blunt.' I dislike the fact that I feel the need to be well-liked or popular. I don't like it when I'm misunderstood. But above all my flaws,wrong doings,nonsense, I believe in myself. That eventually I'll be someone that I love. That eventually I will look back at who I was and laugh,and turn and see the Lord smiling at who I am now.