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Sunday, February 25, 2007

Today's zone service was really different. I love it when we slip into a routinal mode and God shows up and surprises. 'cause that's who He is. He hates religiousity and sick cycle carousels. I hate it too. But I can't believe how weak-hearted I've become. Such a far cry from how I used to be a few years ago. Shuning at the slightest hint of trouble. Running from problems. I saw how poly changed me and wore me out. From coursemates who are too critical about my character to insecurities. Then it turned to hurts and scars. They dried up but didn't die out. It's still somewhere, lurking around, waiting to strike at my most vulnerable. Then I have a head-on battle with myself. I kick myself sometimes for being who I am 'cause I speak too fast, faster than I can think. I kick myself for holding on to things. I kick myself for worrying too much. I kick myself for not letting the past go. That is my sick cycle carousel. They make revolutions around my head. But not for long. Even as my bro prayed for me 2 weeks back, he said that adjustments are gonna be made in my life. I'm at this phase where things are being dealt with, stubborn stains that have been there for too long and adamant to stay. I do think it's not going to be an easy year, where God will demand things from me that I'm unwilling to let go of. A year where I have to stand up and fight. I'm going to struggle but I won't stumble. It's going to be victorious.

P/S: Passerby always runs away when I ask who he/she is. weird. and the person's so interested in my life that I'm convinced he/she knows me personally. But at least I don't have anonymous taggers coming around telling me to shut up or that I'm fat or something. For which I'm glad.



I wrote my heart down.
12:16 AM



Hello,what's your name?

Name:Natalie Wong
Age:20
Birthday:30th May 1987
School: Undergrad at Murdoch Uni(Mass Communications)
Oh yes, it's the self- introduction section again where you're supposed to pigeon hole yourself in 50 words.(labelling allowed)Well, I believe in someone called Jesus and that in itself has changed my character and life in many ways. That's about it. Talk to me and you can have the right to label me further.|



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