Red Tag Events of 2005



1) got a D for the first time in poly (geeky stuff)
2) Went to Perth for the first time without my parents.Longest time away from home.
3) discovered my love for travelling
4) finally loved myself for who I am
5) Brought Adin and Di to cornerstone and they stayed
6) got through the year without any major scath
7) learnt to embrace my name ,Hannah
8) became impatient to find a bf
9) still love my girls as much
10)wish for Sha to be well
11)sad that i've turned 18 because it brings me a yr closer to adulthood
12) stepped into a club for the first time -_-
13) realised my secondary school friends are my best friends so it doesn't matter if i don't hv close friends in poly
14) became a little closer with my poly friends, though
15) no longer struggle with waking up late for church (expect for a few occasions.Maybe tmr morning.haha)
16)discovered my determination to do something when i really put my heart to it
17 that i'm taking steps to curb my stage fright
18)went throught 2005 without putting on make-up 90% of the time. woohoo. ;)

After writing all these, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S THE LAST DAY OF 2005!!! AND I AM TURNING 19 NEXT YR..MY LAST YR AS A TEEN.Even typing that sends me creeps.Noooooooooooooooooooooooo i don't want to step into adulthood so quciklyyyyy. =(
Time is the biggest loser of the year cause it goes so fast without stopping for anyone. LOSER!

Been bumming ard this week. Projects are at the back of my mind..someone bite me.
Went out on thurs to visit Sha..She still looks pretty weak..i really hope she gets well soon. Yesterday she sent me a christmas greeting telling me to enjoy myself, and that is something for someone who's bed-ridden. I love you. After that, Di and me went to Clarke Quay for dinner,then meet Jon for a gig (competition) Would you believe that it's my first time in a club?(we went to momo)and it's not even to club..hahaha anyhows it's not as if i'm planning to. But the bands were AWESOME.It was the finals, after all. His ex-band was like 'woah!'..and they played one of the songs Jon wrote. The new drummer is only 14? But he's great..I have yet to see Jon play though. = But the crowd that day was quite dead ah..maybe cause some of them were from NTU? But I was feeling abit sian also la..i'm sure Di enjoyed it though. Friday was a much toned-down day...went for Christmas @ Katong..catched up with the rest though i only saw them 5 days ago. I'm really beginning to enjoy my church friends' company.Initially i think i was more withdrawn but i guess i've found a place in the cell. Christmas eve was spent with my church friends..we went to bugis and had lunch at seoul garden. Jensen came along..it's been a long time since we saw him. Did loads of nonsense..and had an arguement on fried ice-cream. I went to town today with Di..Bumped into many ppl..Rudy,Christine,3na and bob,Isaiah,Carol and Vicky,Alvin and marcus. DI went off to meet her friend so i joined vicky and the rest..went to TM with them and chatted for 2 hours..Listened to Alvin and his sadistic comments. LOL. But it was fun,nonetheless.

I watched Sweet Home Alabama yesterday night..i'm such a sucker for fairytale(unrealistic) endings. Maybe cause that's reel..and in real life things dont work out the way we want them to. But after watching the show, i am determined to marry a small town boy with blue eyes. HAHAHA. Cause they are gd-looking beings and though they look dense, they really aren't. (:

that's my week for you. Merry Christmas,everyone.

An advanced Christmas greeting to all who're reading this.

I hope this year you all will get through the Santa clauses, misletoes and the presents under the tree to uncover the true meaning of it.

I hope beneath it all, you'll find the message of hope..where a King was born for the salvation of all mankind. Where He came not to be served, but to serve. My God chose to come down as a nobody and to dwell among the unlovely.

Today i hope you'll look beyond the number of drinks you'll have, the blast you'll have at the countdown party but at the King who came from humble beginnings because He chose to. You'll look at King Jesus who's high and liftted up but despises at none of You.

That's my Christmas wish.

There are so many things going through my mind now. Yesterday, me and Di went to visit Sha..i feel the pain for her really.I couldn't imagine myself gg through all tt and not complain..but i admire Sha..for still being able to laugh in times like this. Been seeing Di for the past few days and will be seeing her for the next few days as well..She's at my youth camp right now. I wished i could stay over but apparently blah- timetable says i have lessons.

I keep feeling that God is calling me to a place of abandonment. I've been so caught up with my grades;fallen so many times. I felt like a dry well..i couldn't even cry at the altar. But today during service i prayed for tears. Then Eun came beside me and prayed for me. And tears came. I want to be able to live a life of Hannah and God is calling me deeper. Di came on monday for one of the sessions, and i know she got her breakthrough. God made known to her that He's real. Somehow things that flirted with me before dont appeal to me anymore. Im discovering gems i've not seen, beauty that i didn't know of and i wouldn't trade in for anything else in this world. I want to leave a life abandoned to God. It may sound absurd, maybe if i read it a yr ago i wouldn't have known i would be writing this now. Have you checked the dictionary recently to find out the meaning of 'everything'? I finally found out what it meant. Everything means Jesus.

This week's been an eventful one.

Number of times cried in class: 1
Number of times of feeling lousy and rejected: 10 (+10+10+10+10)
Number of times falling asleep when supposed to do work: 3
Number of love letters recieved: 1
Number of times i was missed: 1
Number of times i missed someone (not one person in particular): many

alright.So i exaggerated a little.Esp the lousy part. I didn't feel tt horrible..just disappointed with my results. It's almost as if i'm stupid.(even though i'm not.i'm sure of it) But the rest of it above was true lah..

I watched hollywood on ice yesterday..with my mum..and even though i didn't go there with much expectations,i'm very impressed with their skills..not so much with their performance though.i felt that there was not enough variations..but i did like the 1970s era part. I think it's such an interesting decade,them with puffed up curled tresses and bell-bottoms.

i'm tired and if i write lousily today do me a favour and just pretend it's good.

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the pacific
And you might think I'm losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics
Cause I don't want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been

extract from 'who I am hates who i've been by Relient K'

Love them. The band of the moment.