sometimes i feel like i don't understand myself. I don't understand why i constantly feel that i am not being loved enough or being ignored.You know people always say that i am cheerful and all. That day May sent me an sms and ask me to describe her in a word.If i were to send out that message,the word that would probably be used most frequently would be 'cheerful'. I am not so sure about that. Sometimes i laugh and talk, but inside of me, i dont know if i am genuinely happy.I know c9 loves me..i know my secondary school frens and church frens do too..but i am not so sure abt my poly frens.
To May (if you're reading this) : I think i understand what you mean about people hating you. i really don't think they do..but i get the feeling sometimes that people hate me too. I have never had such a hard time trusting people until i came into TP.Even crying is not enough anymore..i just have to deal with it,i guess.
On a lighter note, I skipped school yesterday to meet vicky and sha. I went to vicky's house and we had lunch at Downtown east together. it's been such a long time since i ate at tea Valley..reminds me of our regular trips to the place when we were in siglap. Had a lot of fun talking to her..and for the first time in the week,i felt like myself. Truly myself. And i managed to act childish knowing that she wouldn't give me weird stares. After that i saw Sha and we talked for an hour more before i headed off for project while Vicky and sha went to meet Trena for the Vatican art exhibition. I love you girls.. ;)
I wrote my heart down.
9:34 AM